My First Fast

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately. On Good Friday I did a fast for the first time. I did it to see if I could do it because I am diabetic. I wanted to do one for a while but was too scared to do it. On Friday I did it but I went into it not knowing what was going to happen. All day at work I was bored, I did all my work, played candy crush. It was not till I was in my prayer meeting with GSL that I got it. It was not what I thought it was going to be. In my head I going to have this spirit filled fix it but what happen was complete different. I learned that my fast was to shed an old part of my life. When I did that God show me that an old hurt that I thought was gone was there front and center.

 The hurt became my whole world for that short time. I am talking to GSL ladies but I am turning away from them at the same time. I started to see them as my old church, saying I wasn't good enough, judging me because I did not know what they did. Truly they did none of this but this is how the evil one uses a foothold to make you turn away from God. At this point I did not see what was happening. They start to sing songs that I do not know but they all knew them. I see this as them are shutting me out because I did not grow up in the church, looking down upon because I don’t know these things. So I hung up the phone and sat on my bed for a while. Then I just started to pray for help to understand what was going on. I was thinking that if they were going to act like this I was going to leave the prayer group and that just scared me.  One of the ladies’ called me back and told me that God told her to pray of me. I told her some of what I felt after we talked I went to bed.

 When I got up in the morning it was still on my heart it was double the pain of the night before. So I called her at 8am on Saturday knowing she would be sleep but she was up. I was so shock that she was awake, she told me that God told her to get up. I took that as a sign that I really need to talk out my pain. We talk for about 40 minutes I did feel better but I knew I need more prayer. So I had a bible study class and after the class I was going to ask my pastor to pray for me in private. For some reason we finish early and where waiting for our lunch place to open. One of the member said why don’t we do prayer request, we do not normally do not do this. When it was my turn I thought I should not tell them about my fast and my problems but I told them everything and I knew that was the right thing to do.

After I told we prayed and I truly gave my pain to God I relay started to feel better. I am not saying that all my pain is gone but I am giving it to God truly and with my friends interceding for me I will be free of all my pain.